


You've Gotta Be Kitten Me

by supersmileys (gingerninja)



Category: The Almighty Johnsons
Genre: A thing, Depression, F/M, Gen, Kittens, Origin Story, Original Female Character - Freeform, Quest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-26
Updated: 2013-09-02
Packaged: 2017-12-13 01:17:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/818258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gingerninja/pseuds/supersmileys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone usually assumes that Anders has little regard for other people's feelings and is unable to care. But when five kittens make their way into his life, the opportunity arises for Anders to change EVERYONE's perception of him. </p><p>The origin story of an unlikely duo who will achieve great and terrible things -but not without a few mishaps along the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Any of the characters that aren't normally part of the show are entirely fictional and are not meant to bear any resemblance to any living persons. 
> 
> This story will eventually launch into the realms of the silly. Consider yourself warned for future chapters.

Anders was pleased with himself. This had to be one of his greatest conquests yet.

The woman sitting in the passenger seat of his car was one of the youngest MPs in Parliament; beautiful, witty, rich and sharp as a tack. In other words: in normal circumstances, she was a woman who would never, _ever_ be idiotic enough to allow Anders to chat her up.

Anders tended to stay away from politicians; generally because it was too much of a hassle dealing with the inevitable media fallout that would arise from being seen with them. Also, the vast majority of politicians weren’t exactly Anders’ type. In addition, his powers to sway people with words were worthless on politicians because they were so used to stringing their own bullshit, and they were able to see through Anders’ advances.

But this time, he had managed a combination of his Bragi powers and actually just being charming and likeable that Maria – Miranda? No, her name was definitely Samantha (he had to actually start paying attention to the news, he thought) – that by some stroke of luck and skill she had agreed to accompany him back to his place for a drink. Axl be damned, he wasn’t going to let his baby brother stop him from securing a root of the highest calibre.

“You know, I actually had a few people say to me ‘Annabelle – get Anders Johnson to help you on your campaign, he’s a mastermind!’. You’ve impressed a lot of important people with your business.” (Ahhh, Annabelle, that’s right!) Anders was surprised. He knew he did a good job with his clients, but he wasn’t aware that he was good enough to attract attention of people such as Annabelle.  
“Wait, really?” Annabelle nodded slowly, reaching out and giving his knee a squeeze.  
“You’d be a real asset to any political candidate, Anders,” she replied softly.

It was no longer clear who was trying to seduce whom; Annabelle clearly had an ulterior motive for agreeing to go back to his place, and she was buttering him up with compliments and suggestive looks. But Anders had to admit, it was nice to have someone pursuing him for once. Plus, he was actually enjoying her company and talking to her. Ugh. He was turning into Ty.

“I have to say, you’ve intrigued me. Why don’t you-” Anders was cut short by Annabelle letting out a shriek.    
“OH MY GOSH, LOOK OUT!!!” Anders stepped on the brakes and his car screeched to a halt.  
“Jesus, what’s wrong?!”  
“Look what you nearly ran over!” Anders looked out the windscreen where Annabelle was pointing. In the middle of the road, their eyes reflecting the strong headlights of Anders’ car, were five very small kittens.

“Oh, God,” Anders sighed; he thought he was about to kill somebody. He put the car into reverse and started backing up so he could drive around the kittens.  
“What are you doing? Let me get out of the car for a second,” Annabelle instructed. Anders obliged, but he was wary of what Annabelle’s intentions were with the kittens. She climbed out, and went over to them, picking one of them up. They had clearly been abandoned. Anders slumped himself over the steering wheel tiredly. Would this prove an obstacle for his plans with Annabelle tonight? He should have known that somehow Axl’s order would have a way in interfering in his life, even when Anders was so blatantly disregarding it.

He didn’t lift his head from the steering wheel until he heard the back door of the car open.  
“There you are, now why don’t we grab your brothers and sisters as well,” Anders heard Annabelle coo. He turned around to see Annabelle taking her jacket off and creating a little spot for the kittens to settle.

“Um, what do you think you’re doing?” Annabelle shot him a dark look, and for the first time, he was truly seeing just how fiery a personality she possessed.  
“We need to take these kittens so someone else doesn’t run them over and kill them.”  
“I don’t live at the fucking SPCA, Annabelle,” Anders pointed out a little irritably. The idea of having five festering fleabags in his car wasn’t exactly appealing, let alone his house.

“You don’t have to keep them - we’ll take them to the SPCA tomorrow. You can’t expect me to leave them all vulnerable in the cold overnight, do you?” Her tone was dangerous.  
“Whoa, whoa, _overnight_? I thought we were just dropping them off at the SPCA on the way home?” This night was about to take a very different course than what Anders had originally anticipated.

“It’s after midnight; they’re not open until the morning,” Annabelle sounded as though she was speaking to a very petulant child. _This fucking country_ , Anders cursed inwardly. Of course 24 hour dumping grounds for animals didn’t exist in New Zealand yet. Perhaps he should send his MP an email to do something about it. Then again, he didn’t need to; she was now settled back in the passenger seat of his car.

“It’s a shame they don’t have 24 hour animal shelters here in Auckland yet,” Anders said nonchalantly, casually glancing her way to gauge her reaction. Annabelle rolled her eyes.  
“It’s one night, Anders. It won’t kill you to care about other beings for once in your life.” Ouch. He was beginning to dislike her; she was turning out to be a bit of a condescending bitch.  
“And make sure you drive slowly, you don’t want to hurt the poor kittens.”

Anders looked back in the rear-view mirror to the backseat. The kittens were all huddled up, staring at him with terrified eyes. But they weren’t making annoying noises like he thought cats tended to do. Swearing under his breath, Anders slowly started driving back to his house. Neither he nor Annabelle exchanged any words for the remainder of the journey; the atmosphere was rather frosty. Shit, if this was the kind of thing that Ty always had to go through with women, it was a miracle that he EVER got laid!

The car ride finally came to an end as they reached Anders’ house. The pair of them climbed out and Anders went to the front door and waited impatiently for Annabelle to remove the kittens out of his car. She threw him a dirty look.  
“If you took your jacket off, you could help carry them inside a bit more quickly. I can’t carry five kittens inside in one go,” she suggested shortly.

“Are you fucking insane? Do you know how much this jacket cost? Or is this some backwards roundabout way of getting me to take my clothes off?” Anders asked in a hopeful voice.

“You won’t find out until you get that jacket off and help me out.” Annabelle had a hint of a smirk on her face, which made Anders’ esteem for her climb back up a few notches. There was a potential for him to recover the chances of getting her into bed with him. Anders walked back over to his car and stood beside Annabelle a little uncomfortably; he had had little experience holding animals or babies (basically anything that would wriggle or make a huge mess). Annabelle picked up one of the kittens; a little ginger one who was extraordinarily fluffy and placed him into Anders’ hands.

The kitten looked up at him with wide blue eyes and Anders was momentarily stricken. He wasn’t normally one to bandy about the word ‘adorable’, but there was no other way to describe the little being in his hands. There was a trust in the kitten’s eyes that Anders had rarely seen anyone give him. Annabelle had a similar look in her eyes as she watched Anders gaze at the feline in his hands. This was the first time she had seen a proper ounce of humanity in Anders. She knew of his reputation and what she had signed up for when she agreed to go home with him, but actually seeing that he had the capacity to care for something was refreshing.

“I think I can manage the other four if you could shut the door behind me?” Not taking his eyes off the kitten he was holding, Anders shut the door of his car and locked it. He then walked very carefully to his front door and opened it, Annabelle following slowly behind him with the other four.

“Is it alright if I settle them on your couch?” Anders wrinkled his nose; he wasn’t keen on the idea of having animals walk all over his furniture, but there was a higher goal that he valued more than his furniture. He nodded.  
“Sure. Can I offer you a drink? Wine? Coffee? Vodka?”  
“A wine would be lovely.” Annabelle had settled onto his couch next to the kittens and fondly watched them roam about.

Anders still had the ginger kitten in his hands as he opened a bottle of wine and poured two glasses of his favourite sauvignon blanc. Annabelle watched him struggle slightly with the preparation of the drinks one-handedly.  
“You know that you’re allowed to put the cat down, now?”

“Ah, Annabelle, you’ll soon learn that pouring drinks isn’t the only thing I can do with one hand,” Anders remarked as he brought two wine glasses over to the couch, handing one to his guest. He settled his kitten onto his lap, where the kitten comfortably curled up. Annabelle was no longer trying to hide her smirk; this incensed Anders slightly. She had been expecting him to reject the kittens, but he would show her. The little kitten who had taken such a shining to Anders he would name Vali, after the god of revenge. Because the perfect revenge against Annabelle would be to prove that he was actually quite comfortable with animals. Vali was purring, and this attracted the other four to wander over to Anders curiously and also climb into his lap.

Anders tipped his head against the back of the couch with a sigh, and took a sip from his wine glass. It wasn’t the scenario he had been anticipating, but he had to admit that he was quite content with the five kittens and a beautiful woman beside him who was stroking one’s head with a dreamy look on her face.  
“Normally kittens don’t take to strangers so quickly; there must be something about you that they like.”  
“What can I say, I always get pussy,” Anders quipped, tilting his head so he could look at Annabelle. She had completely dropped her smugness and was now looking at him with faint admiration. Who knew that cats were a way to a girl’s heart?

The pair of them didn’t move for the hour or so, save for Annabelle getting up to grab more wine. Anders eventually abandoned the hope of having sex with Annabelle and instead allowed himself to get to know her properly. It was proving to be less boring than he thought. He would have preferred some hanky-panky of sorts, but as the kittens were proving to be an obstacle, he had to make do with the best of his situation.

Sadly, his night with Annabelle was about to end. Her phone rang, and she pulled it out.  
“Shit, it’s the Prime Minister; I’d better answer this.” She got off the couch and stepped into the bathroom to take her call. Anders took another swig from his wine. He gave little Vali a scratch behind the ears as Annabelle stepped back into the living room, an apologetic look on her face.

“Anders, I’m going to have to leave – something’s come up and I have to go into work,” she said ruefully, pulling on her jacket and her shoes.  
“What? You’ve got to be kidding me. Are you just going to leave me here with these?!” Anders sounded panicked. Annabelle giggled at the slumbering kittens in his lap.

“You look like you’ve got it under control. Don’t worry; I’ll give you a call sometime once I have some more spare time.” She stepped over to him and kissed his cheek.  
“Night, Mr Johnson.” And without another word, she made her way out the door, shutting it softly behind her. Anders wanted to follow after her, but he was in no position to move. And out of his depth with five living beings asleep on top of him (this had to be a record for him!). So, he did what he always did when he was in a bind. Anders fished his phone out of his pocket and hit number 2 on his speed dial.

A grumpy sounding man answered on the other line.  
“What the fuck do you want?” the man asked groggily.  
“Ew, Ty, what are you doing over there? Dawn has work in the morning!” Anders chastised his younger brother. He wasn’t aware that Ty and his assistant Dawn were at the sleeping at each others’ houses phase of their relationship.  
“I was sleeping before you had the lack of courtesy to call,” Ty hissed in a quiet voice.

“Where’s Dawn? I need to speak to her. It’s urgent.”  
“She’s asleep. And it’s always urgent with you. Let the woman sleep, or I’ll convince her to resign.” That was an empty threat from Ty – Anders knew that Ty tried to get her to quit roughly once every week. Anders could always talk her out of it.

“What’s going on?” Anders could hear Dawn ask on the other line.  
“It’s my dickhead brother trying to ruin our lives,” Ty responded, and Anders rolled his eyes. Ty was such a drama queen at the best of times.  
“God, Anders, what do you want?” Dawn asked crossly, having taken the phone from her boyfriend.  
“You need to get over to my house right now. I can’t move.”

“What do you mean, _you can’t move_?” Dawn asked sceptically.  
“I mean, I’m physically stuck and I can’t move. And you’re uniquely equipped to help me out. Please. I really need your help.” There was a pause, and then Dawn let out an exasperated sigh.

“ _Fine_. I’ll be there in 15 minutes.” Anders could hear Ty’s protests in the background, and he couldn’t help but chuckle. Ty was so easy to wind up. Thankfully, they arrived promptly. Anders heard them coming up the stairs, Ty complaining as per usual about how Anders was a prick and exploitative and a complete wanker. When they entered the living room and saw Anders sitting there on the couch, he thought that Ty would implode with anger.

“You’re _stuck_?!” Ty fumed. “For fuck’s sake, Anders, did you drag us out of bed for nothing?!”  
“Shhh, you’ll wake them!” Anders hissed, pointing at his lap. Dawn and Ty walked around so they were in front of the couch, and then noticed just exactly what had made Anders ‘stuck’.

“Where did they come from?” Dawn’s voice was instantly softer as she stepped over to the couch and knelt down to examine the kittens.  
“It’s a long story. But I first need you to remove them so I can go to the bathroom.” Ty and Dawn had identical looks of disbelief on their faces.

“Please! I’m not qualified to lift sleeping kittens.” It was the genuine look of pleading on Anders’ face that persuaded Ty and Dawn to listen. They each picked up two kittens and gently sat down with them. Anders was then able to pick up Vali without disturbing him from his slumber.  
“I’m going to put you down, Vali, and then I’ll be back, okay?” Oh, how he cherished the thunderous look on Ty’s face. Not only was Vali the god of revenge, but in Norse mythology Vali had been born for the sole purpose of killing Ty’s god, Hod. Anders settled Vali down on the biggest cushion on his couch before going to the bathroom. He returned to see Ty and Dawn curled up with all five kittens on their laps, as they whispered to each other tenderly.

“Don’t get too attached, Dawn, you’ll make your own cat jealous,” Anders said, taking Vali from Dawn and sitting down in another chair.  
“I don’t _have_ a cat, Anders,” she retorted. “Did you want me to take them to the SPCA before work tomorrow?”  
“No, it’s okay, I’ll handle it. They can live here for a little while in luxury before I send them off to new homes.” Anders answered absent-mindedly; Vali had woken up and was purring contentedly, distracting Anders from his guests.

“Why don’t I send Axl and Zeb around tomorrow to come and pick them up; I’m sure they’d be happy to find homes for them,” Ty suggested. This captured Anders' attention. He stared at his brother suspiciously.  
“Why would you do that?!”

“You’re kidding me, right? You of all people can’t just keep five kittens.”  
“Who says I can’t?” Anders said defensively, covering Vali’s ears to protect him from Ty’s blasphemous words.  
“The _universe_? You don’t even let women stay for more than a night,” Ty pointed out.

“Now that’s where you’re wrong; I’ll be going on a second date with Annabelle Langham in the near future,” Anders said triumphantly. He found the shocked looks on Dawn and Ty’s faces to be rather insulting. In fact, their entire attitudes to him this evening had been quite offensive. He was perfectly capable of both wooing a politician AND looking after these kittens; they were very happy in his house.

“I think you’ve made your points, you can leave and go back to bed now.” Dawn nodded at Ty, and they lifted the kittens and placed them on the couch.  
“I’ll be coming in to work late tomorrow, Anders,” Dawn warned. She was expecting Anders to talk her into coming in early, but surprisingly her boss just nodded.

“If you could just pick up some cat supplies for me, Dawn, that’d be great, and then you can come in at midday.” That was the best deal Dawn was going to get from Anders, and she took it.  
“Deal. You sure you’re alright with them? If they get hungry, you could always feed them your fish.” Ty let out a delighted laugh. He enjoyed the annoyed look he finally managed to provoke from his older brother.

“Alright, time to leave now. Bye-bye.” Ty and Dawn took the hint; they left Anders’ house hand-in-hand. Ty sent a text message to Axl telling him and Zeb to get their arses round to Anders’ house in the morning, however – he figured Anders would be bored of the kittens by morning, and his younger brother and his flatmate seemed suited to give the critters a home.

Anders left the four unnamed kittens on his couch to sleep, but he took Vali and gave him a prime sleeping spot on his bed.  
“They think I can’t deal with cats? Well, Vali, you and I will prove them wrong.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here's the second chapter! The story is turning out to have quite a slow build-up, but I wanted to spend some time fleshing out some of my ideas regarding Anders' character and background. I hope you enjoy!

It was a restless night for Anders; something was plaguing his thoughts and it was difficult for him to sleep. Normally, he slept like a log. It was one of the things he liked about himself - the ability to switch off any concerns or worries in favour of a wonderful night’s sleep. He didn’t share that trait with all his family members, however – Mike was a borderline insomniac for years; Anders suspected that Mike took his role as the oldest brother too seriously, sitting up late at night doing nothing but worrying.  
  
Ty always slept better when there was someone sleeping next to him (which wasn’t very often given his luck with women) – even as a child, he would always insist on Mike or Anders staying with him until he fell asleep. Ty was also a very light sleeper – anything would rouse him. He probably didn’t let himself fall into a deep sleep in case his Frosty the Snowman powers decided to shut down his body while he wasn’t watching.  
  
Axl, despite being 21, was still a teenager physiologically – it took little short of smelling salts and a foghorn right in his ear to have a hope of awakening him before noon, especially if there had been alcohol involved the night before.  
  
And Olaf could sleep at will. The jury was still out on whether it was an actual trait of Olaf’s, or whether all the drugs were what sent him into a slumber.  
  
This inability to sleep puzzled Anders. It took several minutes of pondering before he recognized that it was _guilt_ preventing him from sleeping. Guilt about what, he wasn’t sure. It sure wasn’t going to go away by him just lying there, so he got out of bed and wandered to the door. Vali was still curled up angelically on the other side of Anders’ bed. Opening the door, Anders got the shock of his life as he nearly stepped on four hopeful kittens.  
  
“Oh, shit, sorry!” They didn’t scarper; instead they looked up at him, wanting permission to enter his bedroom.  
  “Did you guys want a proper place to sleep? Come on, then.” He lifted two of them up, one of them a tabby kitten and the other one was completely black with bright blue eyes. He put them on his bed next to Vali, and he turned back to the remaining two. They had followed him into his bedroom, and were staring up at his bed with a sense of foreboding challenge.  
  
“Go on, try and jump up! I won’t mind.” One of the kittens made a feeble attempt to leap up, but it only managed to get halfway up before it started slipping back down the bed, letting out a helpless mewl as it slowly descended. Anders caught the kitten before it hit the floor, chuckling.  
  
“That was pathetic,” he told the kitten. He hoisted the last cat from the floor and settled them on his duvet. All the commotion had awoken Vali, who let out an annoyed little meow at being disturbed. Vali’s siblings all toddled across the bed and burrowed under the covers exactly where Anders slept.  
  
Anders moved them over so he could climb back into bed, and they huddled in as close as possible to him, attracted to his warmth.  
“Is this how we’re going to play it?” He sure wasn’t going to be able to move now for fear of squishing his new companions, but his feelings of guilt seem to have assuaged. He then proceeded to have the best night’s sleep ever.  
  
 _*******************************************************************************************************************_  
  
Anders heard voices when he was still asleep. He was extremely comfortable, however, and had no interest in waking up to check the source of the voices.  
  
“Fuck, I thought Ty was _joking.”_  
“He’s not exactly the joking kind of god, though, is he? Being one with the cold and darkness and all that?”  
“ _Shut up,_ Zeb, you _know_ you’re not supposed to know about this stuff! Just keep it on the down low, alright?”  
“It’s a bit late now, isn’t it? Oh, which god is Anders?”  
“…he’s Bragi, the god of talking bullshit.”  
“There’s a god of talking bullshit? Cool.”  
“Oh, man, look at them. I really want to take a picture of this, this is priceless.”  
  
There was a sound of someone digging around in their pocket, and then the artificial noise of a photo being taken on a cellphone. This sound pierced through Anders’ consciousness and he stirred.  
  
“Oh, shit, he’s waking up!” Of course. The voices belonged to his younger brother Axl and his (dipshit) flatmate Zeb. With his eyes closed, he made a mental note to put Ty’s car keys in a bucket of water and stick it in the freezer. It was a prank he used to play on Ty when they were younger; because of how cold Ty’s body ran, it was nigh impossible for him to melt the ice without someone’s help.  
  
Anders figured it would be more entertaining for him to pretend to be asleep, and he didn’t yet have the energy to be as pissed off as he normally would be at having intruders in his house. The kittens were still peacefully asleep and he didn’t want to disturb them.  
  
He had been tossing names around for the rest of the kittens -  Vali’s name had come to him naturally and was a perfect fit, but the other kittens would take some time to see if his chosen names fit.    
  
“Oh, must have been a false alarm. I almost want him to wake up now, though, this is going to be fun.” Oh really? Well, Anders was certainly going to make them wait. Over the years he had become very experienced at feigning sleep when he wanted one night stands to get bored of him and leave of their own accord.  
  
“And look at the little kittens! I never thought I’d be able to associate the word ‘cute’ and your brother in the same sentence.”  
  
“At least I’m cuter than your sorry excuse for a face,” Anders said, opening his eyes and nearly giving Axl, Zeb and four of the kittens a heart attack – they leapt off the bed and bolted under his drawers, peeking out with terrified eyes. Vali opened a bleary eye to survey the scene, and then burrowed back to sleep when he saw no apparent danger.  
  
“What the fuck are you doing in my house?” Anders asked irritably, getting up and going over to the drawers to coax the kittens out from underneath. He was reminded of the day before Axl’s birthday when an unexpected earthquake scared a woman under his glass table.  
  
“Ty sent us over?” Axl replied uncertainly. Anders straightened up and looked up at his brother expectantly.  
 “And? What exactly did our cold-hearted brother ask you to do once you got here?” Zeb let out a laugh.  
  
“Heh. I get it. Because of the god thing.”  
  
Axl had never wanted to throttle his best friend more than in that moment. He didn’t think he’d ever seen Anders so livid; it was eerie how much he resembled Mike.  
  
“How the _fuck_ does he know?!” Anders had to look up at Axl to keep eye contact, but Axl felt a bit threatened.  
“He – he sort of saw me be all strong and shit when I was trying to stop those chicks from castrating you…”  
  
“It’s called plausible deniability! Or how about – the ONE rule that you need to follow?!” Whilst Anders was grilling his younger brother, Zeb wandered over to the bed and picked up Vali, stroking him and waggling his finger at the cat.  
  
“You have risked our ENTIRE – hey!” Anders barked suddenly, having spotted Zeb with Vali. “Put Vali down!” Zeb looked hurt and clutched Vali protectively to his chest.  
“Why? I’m not hurting him!” But he felt compelled to put the kitten down, who ran over to Anders and weaved around his feet playfully.  
  
“So…he’s got a name?” Axl asked tentatively, hoping to distract Anders from Zeb knowing the truth about their existence.  
 “Yeah, I named him Vali because I knew it would piss Ty off the most.”  
  
“Do the others have names?” Zeb asked eagerly. Two of the kittens slowly ventured out from the dresser finally, and tiptoed over to Axl and started meowing at him. Anders scooped them up and glared at Zeb. One of the kittens who was trying (and failing) to leap out of Anders’ arms was the same kitten who had nearly fallen off his bed the night before.  
  
“NOT that it’s any of your concern, but this is Modi” – the kitten who was now gnawing mischievously on Anders’ arm – “ow!” He had clearly named Modi appropriately. Anders let him down so he didn't end up dropping the other kitten he was holding.  
  
“The god of anger! I approve!” Zeb nodded appreciatively. Anders looked to his brother.  
 “This moron even knows more than you do!” Modi had clearly become more confident over night and found his personality – he was now batting at Zeb’s shoelaces with a ferocious determination.  
  
“And what’s that one’s name?” Axl asked, gesturing at the one in Anders’ arms.  
   “This little one is Magni,” Anders said fondly. And before he could be questioned over the name origins, Axl’s phone rang.  
  
“Hello?...Yeah I’m here…” Axl stepped into the bathroom to continue his phone call. Zeb bent down to play with Modi, and he was also approached by the kitten who was yet unnamed. Anders fixed his eyes on Zeb, to make sure no harm came to the kittens. It was strange, the strong sense of protectiveness he felt towards these animals – he knew in his mind that Zeb was as harmless as a piece of lint, but something was preventing him from letting his guard down.  
  
  
“Ty, he’s _named_ the things!” Axl exclaimed from the bathroom. Anders looked down at the poor unnamed kitten. It was the little black kitten, and it seemed so sad as it watched Zeb play with Modi and his shoelace; it would every so often try and bat it, but Modi was too boisterous and quick that it didn’t stand a chance.  
  
“You do realise your life is in mortal danger from knowing about us, right?” Anders warned. Zeb started to look quite uncomfortable. He had never really gotten to know Axl’s brothers apart from Mike, and he wasn’t sure that they were warming up to him. Ty definitely would never ‘warm up’ to him (Zeb gave himself a mental high five for that one)! But surely knowing about god stuff and why Axl kept going off to do “family stuff” was better than not knowing, right?  
  
“I reckon he seems pretty serious, I mean he’s named them after gods! And besides, we’re not technically allowed animals in the flat.”  
  
A place name might be a good way to go! Anders started thinking about meaningful places in his life for inspiration for the unnamed kitten. He had travelled to a fair few exotic places, but for the life of him none of them seemed to satisfy for naming the kitten.  
  
Perhaps somewhere closer to home had significance? That seemed unlikely, though – Anders couldn’t wait to be shot of the Hawke’s Bay once he was able to leave home – Auckland had bigger and better opportunities for him, plus it was sufficient distance from the rest of his brothers. Of course they all ended up following him there, which he sometimes resented – even being the largest city in New Zealand, Auckland just didn’t seem to be big enough to give Anders the space he needed from his dysfunctional family.  
  
“Ty, I really don’t know what you want me to do!” Axl whispered loudly. Anders jolted with inspiration, giving Magni and little Vali at his feet a fright. Taihape! That’s right!  
  
Anders’ first ‘girlfriend’ was from Taihape – at the young age of 13, they would write letters to each other about how it was so difficult for them to be together due to the Ruahine Ranges separating their two towns. He had vowed to her that he’d one day hitchhike across the border into the Manawatu-Wanganui region to see her – and then one day he never heard from her again.  
  
She had promised that she’d write back, and she never did. Anders wrote multiple letters to her, begging for her to reply – he wrote songs, poems, even drew her pictures to try and get her to get her to write him back. Not a response was made.  
  
And then one day he travelled to Taihape and saw what kind of place it really was.  He had built it up in his mind to be some kind of beautiful paradise, but really it was nothing more than a small town that people drove through on their way to bigger and better places. Anders realised that he had also built this girl up to be better than she probably was. It took Taihape for him to get that sense of peace and closure. From that point on he vowed never to let a girl treat him like that ever again. The little kitten standing next to Zeb was reminiscent of the nostalgia and sad serenity that Anders associated with Taihape.  
  
Plus, the kitten looked a bit like Ty would if he were a cat, and the name was ironic considering how gloomy Ty was all the time. Taihape. He could call the kitten Tai for short, and confuse his brother even more!  
  
His thoughts were interrupted by Axl handing his phone over to him.  
  “Ty wants to speak to you.” Anders took the phone with a flourish.  
 “Why hello younger brother, would you like to tell me why you sent two young hoodlums to break into my house early on a Thursday morning?”  
   “You _named_ the kittens?” was Ty’s response. He sounded astounded or disgusted; it was difficult to tell over the phone.  
  
“Yup! Vali, Modi, Magni, Catsby and Tai.”  
   “ _Catsby?!_ ” Axl was trying not to double over with laughter.  
“You named one of them after me?” Ty sounded truly touched.  
   “Sorry, bro, I actually named her after Taihape.” His comment was followed by the sweet sound of the dial tone as Ty hung up in outrage.  
  
“Catsby, Anders?!” Axl repeated. “That’s the sort of name a 15 year old girl would give to a cat!” Anders thrust the phone to Axl with a force that caused the latter to flinch.  
 “Named after my favourite book in my favourite class. 5th form English I was lucky enough to have Miss Miller as a teacher, and she taught me a lot. A _lot_ ,” Anders added for emphasis, heavily hinting at the secret affair they’d had.  
  
“Your favourite book? What a nerd!” Axl snorted.  
  “Hey, I got 100% in School Cert English, which is better than YOUR results. And maybe if you’d read a book or two, you’d know more about all this god stuff that your mortal mate knows more about than you!” Catsby agreed with Anders; she started sharpening her claws viciously on Ax’s jeans.  
“Hey, your cat food and litter arrived, by the way,” Zeb helpfully broke the ice. Anders went outside to pick up the things that Dawn had dropped off. He brought the litter back inside, and for the first time that day, he realised that he was utterly out of his depth as he read the back of the kitty litter for instructions. He had never even properly looked after babies before, and now he was responsible for five dependent kittens. Anders swallowed his pride as he prepared himself to forfeit his dignity; giving up the kittens was not an option, so he’d have to try something else.  
  
“Do either of you know anything about cats?” He braced himself for the teasing, but Axl and Zeb looked back at him with guilty faces as they realised they actually knew nothing about cats (or pussy, for that matter!).  
  
Anders let out a sigh; that had been his last hope. He’d already bothered Dawn enough that Ty would probably go Aramoana on his arse if he called her again. Who else could he call?  
  
He then remembered that he was Bragi! Anders could waltz into a vet or pet shop anywhere and get the help he needed. And he truly wanted to make sure that he didn’t kill these kittens – they were providing him with plenty of entertainment and a sort of love that he had seldom received before.  
  
“Alright, you two – get in the car now. Bring the kittens.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Just a couple of explanations in case you aren't familiar with the New Zealand geography/references I used in the story!
> 
> Taihape: This is a Maori place name that is meant to be pronounced "Tye-hah-peh", however the Anglicized common way of pronouncing it is "Tye-happy". The reason why Ty was so pissed off at Anders having named a cat after him is that it's a pretty unremarkable, silly little town. It is famous for its giant gumboot. 
> 
> Ruahine Ranges/Manawatu-Wanganui: a forest park and a region in the North Island of New Zealand. 
> 
> Aramoana: The Aramoana Massacre was a name given to a shooting that occurred in 1990 in the small town of Aramoana, funnily enough!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yeah, so this chapter has some feels in it and isn't as humorous as the last two. There are references to depression in this chapter, so I thought I'd give you a bit of a warning. 
> 
> The kittens are turning out to be a vessel for me to explore some of my Johnson family (and in particular, Anders) headcanons, not all of which are that happy. But I hope you guys enjoy it!

Axl was starting to feel more than a little concerned for his older brother; he suspected that Anders was taking his order a little too seriously, and reaching out to strange places to fill a void that normally would be satisfied by a quick screw. The manner and determination that Anders had about these kittens reminded Axl of the odd story Ty and Mike would tell him about their childhood when he was really young or before he was born.  
  
There was one story that Axl couldn’t remember, however. If Axl had known about the story, he would have understood a little more about why Anders was acting the way he was.

* * *

  
_For all the turmoil that their father had given their lives, his abrupt departure was one last swift kick to the guts that all but broke their family apart._    
  
 _Mike took his father’s departure most personally; he would take his frustration out on his Mum, always getting into arguments and holding a blatant disregard for his mother’s orders. She tried to assure herself that it was nothing more than a combination of his frustration about his father combined with hormones, but it didn’t stop her from bursting into tears when she thought her sons couldn’t hear each time Mike called her useless._  
  
 _Ty was the one who flourished the most after their Dad left; but even he found it difficult to try and make his mother feel better. What was unknown to the Johnson brothers at the time was that since Axl was born, she had been suffering from postpartum depression. Ty didn’t know that, and he would think it his fault when his cuddles failed to stop her from crying or make her get out of bed. She did, however, appreciate his effort, and made it known to him as much as possible._  
  
 _Anders, as a middle child, got a little lost in the shuffle. Mike never failed to get attention from the way he and Mum would argue, and Ty was clearly Elizabet’s favourite child. Poor Anders, however, felt a bit like a visitor to his own home. He was happy that their father had left, but the sad, pathetic shell of their household that remained wasn’t that much better._  
  
 _He envied his baby brother Axl; Axl seemed blissfully unaware of the sadness around him. Crying would only come from Axl when he was really hungry, and that would immediately subside when a bottle of milk was handed to him. Anders himself hated milk, but he made it his little ritual to pop down to the dairy and pick up the milk – he’d always ask the shopkeeper for the milk that would make his little brother the strongest. Anders, Ty and Mike were never going to be as strong as they could because their Dad had made sure that would never happen, but Anders vowed that Axl would be the biggest and the strongest of them all._  
  
 _One (unfortunately) typical afternoon, Mike and Elizabet had had another uproarious argument. Mike stormed out to his best mate Rob’s house, and Mum had taken herself to her bedroom to cry. Ty was quick to swoop in and try and comfort his mother, but in the meantime two year old Axl was left in the backyard by himself._  
  
 _Anders had just picked up the milk, and he returned to the familiar scene of an absent Mike and Ty consoling their mother; but there was no sign of Axl._  
 _“Oh no…” Anders moaned; he put the milk on the table and started running around the house in search of his little brother._  
  
 _There was no sign of him, and Anders was starting to get really panicked – until he glanced out the kitchen window and saw Axl accompanied by a new friend._  
  
 _“Axl! What are you doing?” he hurriedly stepped outside; the new friend was a young cat who was slowly circling the toddler. Axl would try and reach out to grab the cat’s tail, and the cat would playfully swat at Axl’s hand. The cat was very intelligent, it seemed – it knew how to be gentle, and it knew exactly how to make Axl giggle endlessly. Anders sat down in the grass with a relieved smile, and watched Axl and the cat play together._  
  
 _The cat returned frequently; it seemed to know when Axl was most likely to be left alone. Anders would watch his Axl from afar, but occasionally when he felt a bit down, he would join his brother and the cat for some peace and quiet._  
  
 _It was a Sunday afternoon the next time Mum was having a particularly bad day. Mike had been behaving more civilly towards her lately, but she was still struggling with her depression even as Axl’s third birthday grew closer and closer. Mike was on a school camp so he wasn’t around to help them with dinner that night; that was okay, though, because Anders was developing some excellent culinary skills when he needed to pick up the slack. Ty admired this about his brother and he pursued his own cooking skills in an attempt to be as good as Anders._  
  
 _Anders knew that Axl’s little friend would turn up as he always did; it was beginning to be the one happy constant in his life. Except that Sunday afternoon would mean the end of the cat’s visits._  
  
 _The two brothers were playing with the cat in the front yard. The neighbourhood they lived in had quite a rural feel to it, but the community was close-knit. This is why Anders became immediately suspicious when an unfamiliar man approached them in the yard._  
  
 _“What do you want?” Anders demanded; he was a defiant child when he needed to be, even though he normally got by on being more persuasive. The man ignored him, and instead reached down and grabbed the cat by the scruff of his neck._  
  
 _“You won’t be seeing this cat again. Little god brats like you shouldn’t be allowed near animals,” the man growled dangerously, and he turned around and stomped out of the yard, still gripping the cat._  
 _“Wait – STOP! We weren’t hurting him!” Anders shouted angrily; Axl started to properly cry for the first time in months. The man kept walking, and before long he was out of sight; he and the cat never returned._  
 _“Oh, Axl, it’s okay! The cat was probably diseased anyway. It’s okay, I’m still here!” But Axl kept crying noisily at the loss of his new friend. Anders huffily stood up at the realisation that Axl only ever really valued the cat’s company, and not his own. The cat being snatched away from them hurt him more than he cared to admit. As a way of coping, Anders would try and make himself believe that cats were disgusting, feral creatures. And it worked - with all the people he could convince to do things, the person he was best at convincing and persuading was himself._  
 

* * *

  
Nowadays, Axl was rather ambivalent towards cats, but if he had known that little piece of their history, he would understand Ander’s protective nature and reluctance to let them out of his sight. As he didn’t know this, however, he was considering getting Mike involved to talk some sense into Anders.  
  
Zeb, on the other hand, was having a ball. For the first time in his life since having found out about the immortal realm of Norse gods being real and in New Zealand (albeit a very short period of time) he felt useful. He took Tai and Magni, the two docile and amiable kittens, and carried them out to Anders’ car. They enjoyed the sensation of finally having attention, and were purring cosily in Zeb’s arms. He settled down on Anders’ front step and waited for the other two to join him.  
  
This left Axl to deal with Catsby and Modi, the two kittens with the most amount of attitude, and he was struggling. They were trying to climb their way up Axl’s arm, and were very liberal with their claw usage to do so.  
 “Ow! Stop that!” He tried to shake Modi off, who was clinging ferociously to Axl’s wrist.  
  
“Careful, Axl, they’re only babies!” Zeb chastised his friend.  
“They’re little monsters is what they are!” Axl exclaimed, but he begrudgingly let the kittens try to scramble up his jacket.  
  
Anders left the house finally, with his keys swinging off his right finger and his left hand in his pocket. He wasn’t carrying Vali; Vali was instead standing on Anders shoulder. Axl hated to admit it, but the pair of them exuded a heavy degree of swagger.  
  
“You ready to go?” Anders asked. Zeb and Axl both let out a “yes” with varying degrees of enthusiasm, but Anders was actually asking the kitten on his shoulder. Vali gave Anders a playful little headbutt to indicate in the affirmative, and the three of them got into the car. Axl and Zeb sat in the backseat so they could juggle four kittens. Anders turned around to the backseat.  
  “Alright, kittens, here’s the deal. While I’m driving, you need to stay still and close to these two morons. They can’t function without supervision. Capiche?”  
  
The cats all returned a chorus of meows. Axl and Zeb were baffled.  
  “How did you get them to respond to you like that?” Anders just gave them a condescending smirk.  
  “I’m Bragi,” was all he said (Axl relaxed, because Anders was acting more like himself).  
“Wait, so, your powers work on animals?”  
  
“I wasn’t using my powers, animals are just more likely to understand that the things I ask of them are in their best interest.”  
  “Oh, fuck off,” Axl groaned. Anders chuckled as he started driving out along the street. He had looked up the nearest vet’s office because he figured that he may as well check that they were healthy as well as getting advice.  
  
The kittens were surprisingly well behaved on the car journey. Anders’ words they seemed to be obeying, which was good for Axl and Zeb.  
Once they arrived at the vet’s office, the three of them took their kittens and entered the front door, where they were greeted by a familiar face.  
  
“Oh, _shit_ ,” Axl swore. It was Kylie, one of the women who had very recently tried to drug the three of them and then perform unspeakable illegal medical procedures on Anders. She seemed horrified to see them as they approached the counter. Anders was really hoping to not have to use his powers on her, as the last time he’d done that, it had nearly gone very pear-shaped.  
  
“Uh, hi, I found these five kittens on the street last night, and I was wondering whether I’d be able to speak to a vet about them?” Anders asked hopefully. After a scared glance at Axl, and a softened glance at the kittens she checked her computer.  
  “Um. Yes. Just have a seat over there. A vet will be with you shortly.”  
  
The three of them sat down in the waiting room, and Anders scanned the room properly. There were several women in the room, and they all seemed to be looking at Anders, Axl and Zeb with a sense of faint admiration. Zeb winked at one of the women, and he was shocked when instead of receiving the finger or a look of utter loathing, she blushed and ducked her head.  
  
“These kittens make us chick magnets!” Zeb whispered to Axl. Axl was a little preoccupied with trying to stop Modi from launching himself at a Great Dane across the room. The dog had spotted Modi, and was fearfully trying to hide behind her owner’s legs.  
  
Anders then received a phone call. “Anders Johnson.”  
  “Where are you?” the voice on the other line asked. Anders furrowed his brow and leaned forward in his seat.  
  “I’m in the vet’s office, Annabelle, actually.”  
“Why?” Annabelle sounded confused.  
    “Because of the kittens you ever so kindly brought into my house last night?” Vali jumped up to the top of Anders’ head and started kneading his scalp.  
   “I thought you were going to take them to the SPCA?”  
  
“I’m not going out to Mangere, thanks, I have better things to do with my time.” Anders responded. Zeb and Axl exchanged curious looks.  
  “Good! I have a suggestion for something you can do with your time. Why don’t you take some leave, and come stay with me in Wellington for a couple of weeks? Work is going to get really busy, and I’ll save time if I don’t have to commute back and forth.”  
  
“And what would I do in Wellington for two weeks while you’re working?” With the hand that wasn’t holding his phone, he picked up Tai from Zeb’s lap and rested her in his own. Tai affectionately burrowed into Anders’ shirt. Vali was still perched on Anders’ head.  
  
“You’re a classy bloke – it’s Wellington! Plenty of wining and dining and theatre-going to be had! Alternatively, I could introduce you to some potential clients.”  
   It would have sounded very tempting to Anders 24 hours ago, but he had grown wiser and had assumed an important responsibility which would affect his decision.  
  
“Yeah, okay, first: I have five kittens that I have to look after right now, and I can’t just take them halfway across the country for a couple of weeks. Second: my job and my clients are important and most of them are located here, in Auckland. It seems more than a little presumptuous of you to assume that I can just drop everything and come hang out with you Beehive bitches whilst shafting very loyal clients of mine. And thirdly: we have had one date. ONE. I wouldn’t even really call it a proper date as there was no fornication involved” (some of the other people in the waiting room gave Anders alarmed glances) “and yet you’re expecting me to spend an extended trip with you?!”  
  
“Yeah, pretty much,” Annabelle replied. She seemed unfazed that Anders had called her a “Beehive bitch”.  
  “Well – uh – I’m going to have to call you back,” Anders spluttered, and hung up. He stared at his phone with a dumbfounded look on his face.  
  
Before he could gather his thoughts, however, Kylie called out his name.  
  “Anders Johnson?” He picked up Tai and followed Kylie into the vet’s examination room, pursued by Axl and Zeb. Only Axl realised that Kylie must have bumped Anders to the front of the line, as all the other people in the waiting room had gotten there before them.  
  
The vet was a man in his 40s, and he introduced himself to them as “Bill”. The five kittens were placed on the table, and Bill examined each and every one of them carefully.  
  “I will give de-worm, de-flea and de-sex them with no problem, but these kittens are severely dehydrated and they will need to be hospitalized.” Bill told them seriously.  “Have you fed or given them any water since you found them?”  
  
“Well, I only found them very late last night, but I did give them some water. Hospitalise?  For how long?” Axl had never heard Anders sound so concerned.  
 “Maybe four or five days? It sounds like you saved their lives, though, if you hadn’t given them water when you did, they may have died.”  
  
“You’re like a god,” Zeb whispered, to which Anders flung his finger at the door. “GET OUT.” Zeb immediately regretted his choice of words, and he sheepishly shuffled out the door into the waiting room. Anders turned back to the vet.  
  
“Wait – so – if they’re hospitalised, can I visit them? Or are you just going to take them away and lock them up for five days?!” Axl wanted to elbow his brother in the ribs and remind him that Anders could make almost anyone let him visit the kittens in the vet hospital, but he knew that would be imprudent, so he waited for Bill’s answer.  
  
“Once they’ve been admitted, you’ll need to call and arrange in advance. I might call and have them admitted straight away, as their dehydration is worse than it looks.” Bill went to his phone and made a phone call. Anders leaned over the kittens.  
  
“I’m sorry; I’m going to have to leave you for a few days while you get better. They’ll be good to you, I’ll make sure of it. Will you be alright?” he asked softly. The kittens all mewed back, and lifted up their paws so he could give them little high fives.

“Good. I’ll make sure to have plenty of treats when you get back.” Bill put each of the kittens into a carrier, and Anders watched as they were carried out of the room, a sad look on his face. Axl gave his brother a gentle shove.  
  
“You’ll see them in a couple of days. Don’t worry. C’mon, you should probably go and pay.” Anders numbly followed Axl out to the reception and paid for the visit.  
  
Anders dropped off Zeb and Axl back at their flat. He didn’t want to go back to an empty house, so he went into work and sat glumly at his desk, staring into space until Dawn arrived. She had been planning to give him an earful about last night, but when she entered and saw how sad Anders was looking, all those thoughts went straight out the window.  
  
“Anders! What’s wrong?!”  
  “The kittens have been hospitalised for dehydration for five days,” Anders said gloomily. Ty came in behind Dawn with a coffee for her, but when he saw Anders, he brought the coffee over and placed on Anders’ desk instead.  
  “You alright, mate?”  
  
“Yeah. Thanks, Ty.” Great, even his brother’s name reminded him of the kittens.  
 Not a single sarcastic or mean comment? This was hitting Anders hard.  
   “It’s okay, you’ll see them in five days! And you can probably even visit them,” Dawn soothed. Anders nodded bravely.  
  
Ty had seen from the window what had happened on the day in their childhood when Axl’s cat friend had been taken away. It was only now that he realised how much that had affected Anders. Ty put slapped a comforting hand on Anders’ shoulder. Anders looked up at his brother and in that moment he knew that Ty knew what had happened.  
  
“You’ll see them again,” Ty insisted. Anders again nodded, but with his track record, he couldn’t trust that that would be the case. He was alone, once again.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some quick notes:
> 
> Beehive: the name of the New Zealand Government's Executive Wing. The building is a really weird building that is shaped like a beehive (it's an earthquake safety measure).
> 
> Dairy: New Zealand term for a small convenience store.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All work and no kittens makes Anders an angry boy.

“Since _when_ do we take business trips, Anders?” Dawn questioned her boss suspiciously.  
  “I take trips all the time, Dawnsie,” Anders reminded her, taking a sip from the coffee that was originally meant for her and reclining in his office chair. When she wasn’t looking, he had added a liberal amount of vodka to the coffee.  
  “Well, yes, but generally those trips of yours have consisted of more pleasure than business. And they NEVER include me!”  
  
“What can I say? This trip is very important, to meet with some potentially very high profile clients, and I need you with me. You’re my right-hand woman.” Dawn was beginning to soften, as she always did when he made nice comments about her. She gave a defeated sigh.  
  “When is this trip that you’re planning? And where is it these clients are located?” She was inwardly hoping it would be somewhere like Melbourne, or maybe even Hong Kong. She’d always wanted to travel; when she first got the job with Anders she had had high hopes of one day jet-setting across the world to Europe or North America.  
  
“Wellington.” The capital?! That was significantly less exciting than Dawn was expecting. She was crushed; although she didn’t let it show.  
 “You don’t need me to come with you to Wellington! What on earth is down there that’s big enough to need me there as well? Unless you’re planning to spear-head the film community down there, in which case, good luck. They’re not stupid enough to even consider using a small Auckland-based PR company.”  
  
“Ty’s sunny outlook on life really is rubbing off on you, Dawn, what happened to the Kiwi can-do chick I hired?”  
  “She’s wondering what’s gotten into your head that’s making you want to travel south for business. Normally you prefer warm locations,” Dawn said dryly.  
  
“As useless as Wellington is, what they do have that Auckland doesn’t are politicians. Lots and lots of them. The highest concentration in the country. And politicians need PR. Their careers revolve around it. Plus, they have plenty of government money to spend on keeping their careers afloat. That’s where we come in.”  
  
“Yes, but they have their own people for PR, people who have studied politics and KNOW how to properly market them. That’s not us.”  
  
“There are people who believe it COULD be us,” Anders informed Dawn, looking up at her with a serious, wide-eyed look.  
  
“Who? Annabelle Langham? Well, if that’s the case, why do you need me to go down there when you have her to help you out?” Dawn really did not fancy a trip where she would be the third wheel the whole time. She had been there, done that, and it wasn’t the type of business trip she wanted to experience again.  
  
“Because she’ll want to sleep with me and I need you as a buffer.”  
  
It took all of her willpower to not laugh out loud. To hear such words coming from Anders was priceless. Dawn was very unsympathetic towards this worry of Anders. She leaned forward, her lips pursed to stop her laughing and placed both her hands on Anders’ desk.  
“Well, now you know how every single woman in New Zealand feels when you talk to them,” she said derisively. “And anyway, what about your kittens? Who’s going to look after them while you’re gone?”  
  
“They’ll still be in hospital. I called them up and they’re keeping them in quarantine as a preventative measure, so I can’t visit them right now.” There was a touch of pain in Anders’ voice that Dawn noticed. But the pain wasn’t enough to distract her from what he was actually saying.  
  
“Hold on, when exactly were you planning for us to go to Wellington?” Dawn wasn’t sure she would be pleased with his answer.  
“The taxi’s due to pick us up in three hours,” Anders replied, picking up a folder from his desk and leafing through it.  
  
“ANDERS! You can’t just book me on a plane and expect me to be okay with that! I have a date with Ty tonight!”  
  “You have a date with Ty EVERY night. Plus, I wasn’t expecting you to be okay with this. But this is your job, and it comes with the territory. If you truly cared about your job and the work you do here, then you’d trust that I know what I’m doing and that I know what’s best for my business. If I say that we need to go to Wellington, then we need to go to Wellington. You need to pull your head in, because I am getting _sick_ of your attitude.  You can either go home to pack a bag and bring it back here for our taxi, or you can get the fuck back to work!” Anders’ raised voice rang through the office.  
  
Dawn’s first instinct was to tell Anders to shove his own attitude up his jacksie, but that immediately was overwhelmed by wanting to burst into tears. No-one, least of all Anders, had spoken to her like that since she was about 14 years old. It was the first time she had ever been _scared_ by Anders. Not wanting to let her boss see her cry, she quickly retreated back to her desk, trying to swallow her tears. Anders went back to his paperwork, but out of the corner of his eye he thought he saw Dawn wipe her eyes with a tissue.  He felt a dull pang of guilt, but there were heavier things praying on his mind and he figured he’d apologise once they were safely on a plane to Wellington.  


* * *

  
  
“Shit, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Anders that sad,” Axl said, shaking his head in disbelief as he kicked back on the couch. Even though it was a Thursday, he had picked his classes carefully so that he had both Thursdays and Fridays off. Uni really wasn’t that difficult if you knew how to work it.  
  
Zeb handed him a beer as he joined his friend on the couch.  
“I didn’t think he’d be so attached to those kittens. There’s clearly a special bond there.”  
“Which is even more confusing. Anders HATES animals. And he’s even more of a neat-freak than Ty is. So why he’d be so attached to five kittens is beyond me.” Axl took a sip from his beer.  
  “Did you tell him about the mess they left on the couch?” Zeb asked.  
“Shit no. If he didn’t notice it before, I don’t really want to be around when he finds it and talks us into cleaning it up. And he’d use his powers to talk you into it, and probably make you clean it up with your bare hands. Yeah, nah, it’d be best if we stay away from Anders’  house for the time-being.” Zeb nodded sagely.  
  
“Wise decision, my lord.” They settled into a thoughtful silence, drinking their beers, when Zeb bolted upright.  
“You know what we should do? We should borrow some kittens from somebody and give them to Anders while the others are in hospital so he doesn’t feel so lonely.” Axl also bolted upright, looking at Zeb with wide eyes.  
  
“That’s a brilliant idea, Zeb!” He fished out his phone from his pocket and made a call, knowing exactly where he’d be able to find kittens to borrow.  
  
“What’s up, Axl?”  
“Yeah, hi, Mike. Is Valerie there?” There was an exasperated pause from the other line.  
“Axl, she’s out with Rob. What do you need to ask her, anyway?” Not that Valerie wasn’t an important person in Axl’s life, but Axl tended to go to Mike first with any troubles he had.  
  “I was just wanted to know whether I’d be able to borrow some kittens?”  
“Borrow kittens? What the fuck are you on about?” Axl forgot that Mike knew nothing of what was going on with Anders, and he couldn’t be arsed explaining the whole story, so he figured he’d just cut to the chase and tell Mike the important part.  
  
“Well, I need to borrow kittens to cheer somebody up, and I figured that Valerie would have access to kittens.”  
“Axl, she’s a _teacher._ ”  
   “Yeah! Teachers know kids, and kids have kittens!” Axl defended his flawless logic.  
  
“I’m not asking her to do that. Why don’t you just go to the SPCA and borrow kittens from there?”  
  “But that’s fucking miles away, Mike!” Axl moaned. “Do you know anyone else who has kittens we can ask?”  
  
“No. Goodbye.” Axl pulled the phone away from his ear in disbelief.  
  
“He hung up on me! My own brother! When I’m Odin, I’m going to make him pay for that!”  
  
“So…does that mean no kittens?” Axl paced around the room, frowning with concentration until his face lit up.  
  
“Gaia’s dad has kittens! There are a whole lot of animals at their farm on Waiheke!” Zeb leapt up off the couch.  
“Genius, Axl! But…doesn’t Bryn hate you?”  
  
“If I tell him that it’s for my brother, he might be more willing to help out. He’s a dickhead to me, but he won’t be mean about helping out someone else,” But even as Axl said those words, he was uncertain. Bryn wouldn’t want to grant Axl any favours whatsoever. But it was the only idea they had. Axl gave Zeb a determined look.  
  
“Let’s do it. Let’s go to Waiheke.”  
  
  


* * *

  
  
“Ty, your brother is whisking me away this afternoon to Wellington on an impromptu business trip to go schmooze with politicians, and frankly, I am worried,” Dawn whispered to her boyfriend on the phone.  
 “What?! You _just_ went to Dannevirke! What happened to him being all mopey about the cats and not wanting to do any work?” Dawn braved a glance across the office. Anders still was not paying her any attention.  
  “I’m thinking it’s a distraction FROM the cats,” she replied in a low voice. “He was told that the kittens were under quarantine, so he can’t visit them. And he shouted at me when I told him that it wasn’t okay with me,” she added, her voice quavering.  
  
“He _shouted_ at you?! Oh, love, are you okay?” Ty wanted to bolt straight over to Anders’ office and punch him in the face, but he knew that would make Dawn feel even worse, so he settled for trying to comfort her.  
  
“Yeah, I think so. It’s just…he _never_ shouts. And when he wants me to do something, he’ll always be nice about it, not bark orders at me.” There was something about those kittens that had a large pull over Anders, and it was making him act uncharacteristically. Anders wasn’t going to snap out of it naturally, so Ty had to figure out a way to make his brother see sense and stop acting like an asshole. Mike would probably have a good idea as to what to do.  
  
“I’ll sort it out, Dawn. Don’t worry. And if he makes you feel upset or uncomfortable again, you get out of there and call me straight away, okay?”  
 “Yes. Thanks, Ty. I love you.”  
 “I love you too.”  
  
They both hung up, and then immediately Anders’ phone started to ring. Without even looking at who was calling, Anders put the phone to his ear and said “Fuck off, Ty, I’m working.”  
  “If you don’t apologise to Dawn, I’ll punch your lights out.” Ty threatened.  
  
“Oooh, I’m shaking in my boots,” Anders said sarcastically. “She needed to hear it, anyway.”  
    “What the _fuck_ has gotten into you?!” Ty was astonished at his brother’s words.  
“Tyrone, I’m about to make a very important business trip that I need Dawn for. If you can’t understand that, well, tough shit.” Anders hung up, and then turned his phone off so Ty couldn’t call him back.  
  
“Dawn, if your boyfriend calls again this afternoon, you are forbidden from answering it,” Anders called over to his assistant. Dawn looked up at him nervously, but didn’t say anything. She didn’t want to be told off by him again.  
  
“That _wanker,_ ” Ty cursed as he stared at the phone. This was out of his hands now. It was time to get Mike and Olaf involved. 

* * *

 

“Sorry, he’s upset about _kittens_?!” Mike’s tone was of disbelief. What was it with everyone and kittens today?  
  
“He’s upset, and he’s treating everyone like shit, and I’m worried that that woman he brought home with her is going to be a bad influence on her. He’s vulnerable about the kittens and it’s clouding his judgement,” Ty explained.  
  
“Which woman?”  
  
“Annabelle Langham.”  
“The _MP_?! Is that why he’s going to Wellington?” Things were starting to make a little bit of sense, but Mike was still confused.  
  
“Yes. Apparently she’s got some good potential business for him. And she’s tough enough that he’s not willing to say no to her.”  
  
“She’s a politician. We can’t trust her,” Olaf chimed in over the speaker phone. Ty rolled his eyes.  
“Thank you, Olaf, that’s why I called you. We need to stop him meeting her before she convinces Anders AND Dawn to move down there.”  
  
Olaf knew what to do.  
“We need to have a thing.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wellington is not useless. Don't listen to Anders.
> 
> My estimates put the exact number of miles between Axl's house and the SPCA at around 10. 
> 
> So, next chapter's going to be quite action-packed! Axl and Zeb's trip to Waiheke, and of course the thing for Anders...
> 
> Also, why am I so obsessed with this Annabelle character? She's just making life difficult for all the Johnsons. Something meaningful better come out of all this...


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the silly. Still not entirely sure what was going on in my head when I wrote most of this chapter, but I hope you enjoy it!

“Uh-oh…this weather doesn’t look good,” said Axl, his face pressed up against a window on the ferry. The sky was darkening with big, billowing grey clouds. In Auckland that generally meant that a thunderstorm and torrential rain was imminent.    
  
“It’s okay, we’re already on the ferry to Waiheke. They won’t stop and turn around. We’ll get there,” Zeb assured his best friend.  
  “I was kind of more worried about the trip back?”  
  
“Oh.” This was significantly more concerning. What were they to do if they cancelled the ferries back to town? Zeb and Axl would be stuck on Waiheke, maybe even overnight!  
 “Well, it’ll be an adventure! We’ll trek through the bush until we find a safe place to camp, or stow away in someone’s farm shed. We’ll be more likely to come across kittens that way!”  
  
“Alright, but what about food? What if we starve, Zeb?” Axl’s voice was getting louder, and was attracting unimpressed looks from other passengers on the ferry.

* * *

  
_ZAP! A bolt of lightning flashed across the sky, in the direction that Axl knew was the city that they had left behind. The lightning bolt was even more threatening and fierce than the one that pierced through Axl’s body when he first became Odin._   
_Axl and Zeb were climbing to the highest point on the island on their quest. The rain was pelting down on their faces through the trees, and the winds were so strong that it all but drowned out any words they tried to speak._   
  
_“We haven’t seen civilisation for days! We should find a safe spot to rest!” Axl yelled down to Zeb behind him. It was an almost vertical rock face that they were climbing, and it was difficult to navigate through the vines and trees covering the rock face._   
  
_“We’re almost at the top! We’ll be safer once we get up there!” Zeb yelled back, narrowly missing a branch tumbling down past his face. Axl wasn’t so sure, but the determined look on his sidekick’s face spurred him on to reach the top._   
  
_With one final reach, he gripped the top edge of the rock face and pulled himself up. Axl stuck out his hand and helped Zeb to the top, and the pair of them collapsed at the top, laughing as the rain poured on top of their faces, lightning and thunder angry at them being able to reach the top._   
  
_But in typical Auckland fashion, the weather eased up within a couple of minutes, and Axl was able to spot something out of the corner of his eye. He jumped to his feet, and that was when he noticed the prize that they were looking for._   
  
_A lion was standing about 20 metres away, and it was carrying a number of kittens on its back. The lion’s mane shone like a halo. Something within Axl knew that it was okay to reach out to the lion, and he did so, picking up the kitten that was closest. Axl lifted the kitten up high above his head (re-enacting his favourite scene from The Lion King) and let out a cry of triumph._   
  
_“WE DID IT, ZEB!” he yelled. But there was no response from Zeb. He was still lying on the ground from when Axl pulled him up._   
_“ZEB!” Axl rushed over to his friend and rolled him over. Zeb was barely conscious; his eyes were drooping._   
  
_“I didn’t…finish that sandwich…that was in the fridge this morning,” Zeb choked, and those were the last words he ever spoke. His eyes fell shut and he breathed no more. Panicking, Axl tried to shake his friend alive, awake! But it was no use._   
  
_“NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” Axl screamed to the sky, as the kittens all howled in anguish and the lion roared with rage with pain for Axl’s fallen friend._

* * *

_  
  
_“Have faith, Axl. I am always prepared.” With a flourish, Zeb reached into the pockets of his hoodie and pulled out a gold-wrapped treat.  
  
“That’s it? A single peanut slab?!” It was days like today where Axl wished his sidekick was a little more resourceful.  
  “It’s better than no food at all!”  
“Yeah, but we’re meant to have, like, three days of food and water when we go off into the wilderness!” Axl was starting to wish that he’d had lunch before they left.  
  “No, that’s earthquakes. We’re meant to have three days of food and water for when there’s an _earthquake_.”    
  “Yeah, well, same difference! I’m kinda hungry now, and that’s going to be useless if I eat it before we’re actually going to need it.”  
  
Zeb clutched the chocolate bar protectively. “Who says I’m sharing this with you?”  
  “What?! I’m your best mate! You said we weren’t going to starve!” Was Zeb turning on him before the quest even started?  
  “Yeah, _we’re_ not going to starve – _you’re_ going to starve because you weren’t wise enough to bring snacks with you!” Axl was aghast at his best friend’s comment.  
  “I TRUSTED you, Zeb!” This journey was starting to have all the trappings of a proper quest – anticipation, drama, betrayal – and they hadn’t even gotten off the ferry yet!  
  
  “PLUS – if I die of starvation, do you really want to be around when my death makes Waiheke Island erupt in the biggest explosion Auckland’s ever seen?!” Axl added.  
   “What? It’s not a volcano!” Zeb was confused.  
“Isn’t it?” Axl was even more confused.  “Isn’t Waiheke the big, round volcano island that’s in all the pictures?”  
  
“No. You’re thinking of Rangitoto. Nobody lives there.”  
   “Oh. Well, then, you don’t want to be around when any one of the hundreds of fucking volcanoes explodes because I died of starvation!” Zeb pondered this for a few moments, and dejectedly handed over the chocolate bar. Axl had a point. He really didn’t want to be responsible for the deaths of one and a half million people. Axl ripped open the wrapper, and bit off a chunk. He stopped mid-chew when he noticed the mournful expression on Zeb’s face.  
    “That’s my favourite kind of chocolate bar,” Zeb whispered sadly.  
  
“Your sacrifice for the quest will not go unnoticed, young Zeb.”

* * *

  
“That’s a far better idea than Olaf had.” Mike was impressed with Ty’s plan to get Anders to the thing. Olaf, Ty and Mike were seated at Mike’s kitchen table.  
“What did Olaf want to do?” Ty wasn’t sure he truly wanted to know the answer to this question.  
“He wanted to steal the plane,” Mike replied, shaking his head.  
   “They didn’t let me fly planes in World War 2, NOR Vietnam! I had to stay behind and travel by foot, like a chump. You should let me live my dream,” Olaf said through a mouthful of sandwich.  
   “By letting you steal a commercial jet? I don’t think so.” Olaf took another massive bite of his sandwich, frowning at his grandson. Ty was smiling off into the distance.  
  
  “I’ll have to wear a suit,” he mused happily. “Dawn hasn’t seen me in a suit yet.” Mike couldn’t contain a grin.  
  “You and Anders truly have more in common than you think. Do you remember when you’d steal Anders’ ties and try and put them on yourself?”  
   “YOU were never going to teach me, Valerie has always tied your ties,” Ty shot back. Mike laughed.  
“Ah, well. I guess this proves you’re the best man for the job here.”

* * *

  
Axl received a phone call when the ferry was just pulling up to the island.  
  “Axl, can you meet us at the airport at three thirty?”  
“No can do, Mike, I’m on my way to Waiheke,” Axl replied proudly. Mike was going to be so shamed when Axl and Zeb returned with kittens for Anders.  
  
  “Are you going with Gaia?” THAT would have been a wise move. Gaia would have been able to show them the way to her dad’s house and convinced him to let them borrow kittens. Instead, they had rushed out the door past her, leaving her bewildered in the hallway.  
   “Uhhhh…yes, yes we are. We’re staying overnight at her dad’s place. Why do you need me to go to the airport?”  
  “Don’t worry about it. Have a good time.” Mike hung up, leaving Axl a little befuddled.  
  
“Man…sounds like we’re not the only ones up to something strange.” Zeb shook his head wisely.  
   “People shouldn’t hide things from the almighty Odin. It’ll only end badly.” Axl chucked his chocolate bar wrapper at Zeb.  
  “What did I tell you about talking about this in public?!” Axl hissed. The ferry had pulled up to the terminal, and Zeb and Axl were getting on the gangplank ready to disembark the ferry.  
  
“Okay, okay, I’ll stop. Oh, hey! There’s a supermarket just up the road from the ferry building! We won’t starve after all!” Zeb pointed at a sign on the wharf. Waiheke didn’t seem to be quite the desolate island that they had anticipated. Axl could see cars and buildings and plenty of people along the road from the terminal.  Perhaps their quest wouldn’t be quite as intrepid as they were expecting.  
  
Their true test would be confronting Bryn for the kittens.

* * *

  
  
Dawn was nervous. Ty had assured her that everything was under control (once he had gotten her to access Anders’ emails), but she wasn’t going to believe that until she was safely back at home. Not travelling along the motorway to the airport. Anders was still behaving uncharacteristically. He had barely said a word to her all afternoon, apart from a few brief instructions and questions. He was glued to his phone, however – he had been texting and making calls all day, speaking in a low tone with the people on the other line so that Dawn couldn’t eavesdrop. She could certainly guess who he was talking to, however, and she wasn’t sure she was so happy about it.

* * *

  
  
“I’m sorry, sir, there’s no booking here under your name.” The man at the check-in counter said politely.  
    “That’s bullshit, I just booked today! I have the booking reference right here!” Anders pulled out the piece of paper and slapped it on the premium check-in desk. He was absolutely livid. Anders just wanted to make one small trip without everything going wrong.  
  “Dawn, is it under your name? Give them your customer card.”  
  “I don’t have one.” She mouthed an apology to the man at the counter, who gave her a sympathetic smile.  
  
 “That’s okay, do you have some photo ID on you? We might have your name on our computer.” Dawn handed him her driver’s license, and the man pulled up her name on the computer.  
  “Ma’am, the only flight you’re booked on here is a flight to Rarotonga in three weeks time.”  
 Dawn clapped a delighted hand to her mouth and tried to contain a squeal as Anders rolled his eyes. Ty even made Anders want to vomit with cuteness without even being present. He wanted to make a snarky comment about Dawn asking him for time off first, but he figured after how he had treated her that day that he’d let it slide.  
  
  
“Alright, then, I’ll just buy two tickets on the next plane down. When does that one leave?”  
   “In two and a half hours.”  
 “Good. Two tickets, please.” At least he’d get there eventually.  
   “That’ll be 700 dollars.”  
  
“Are you fucking serious?!” Anders made a mental note to NEVER fly last minute ever again. He didn’t let the man answer; however, he just pulled out his credit card and gave it to the man. Dawn looked around the terminal nervously. She had seen no sign of Ty, and she was worried that she’d still be forced to get on the plane. Thankfully, her worries were short-lived.  
  
“Your card has declined, sir.” Anders let out a fresh stream of swear words that achieved some horrified looks from a family with two children, who covered their children’s ears as they hurriedly walked away. After an exaggerated sigh, he turned expectantly to Dawn. Dawn let out a laugh.  
  
“I don’t have 700 dollars on my credit card!” Anders was deluded. She didn’t earn enough to be able to afford putting almost a grand’s worth of flights on her credit card! At least, not on domestic flights! But this seemed to be all part of the plan. Dawn didn’t know the extent of what Ty did with the access to Anders’ emails, but she was impressed at how thorough Ty seemed to be. Plus the fact that he had taken her suggestion of going on a holiday and booked them a trip to the Cook Islands was pretty damn fantastic as well.  
  
Anders let out another exasperated sigh, and decided to try something else that he didn’t want Dawn to be present for.  
  “Okay. Why don’t you catch a cab home, and I’ll reimburse you when I get back. I’m going to try and sort something else out to get to Wellington.” He gave Dawn an encouraging nod, and Dawn took the opportunity and ran with it, taking her bag to the nearest taxi stand. She started thinking about how she’d thank Ty when she got back.  
  
Once he could be sure that Dawn was gone, he leaned over the counter and said quietly to the man  
 “I want to thank you for all you’ve tried to do for us this afternoon, we really appreciate it. But as a frequent flyer and loyal customer, I think it’d be best for the public relations of your airline if you booked me a complimentary seat on the next flight to Wellington.” Anders hated using his powers to get free stuff, but this was a different matter all together. He HAD to get on the next flight. And of course, the man obeyed. He printed off a boarding pass for Anders.  
  “Here you are, sir. Your flight departs from gate 28.”  
  
  
After all the drama following the tickets and his booking, Anders was ready for a glass of wine at the premium lounge before his flight. It was probably a good thing that he had sent Dawn home, as she would have given him such a hard time about being forced to abandon Ty for five seconds.  
  
The woman at the entrance to the lounge gave him a warm smile as he approached the desk.  
  “Good afternoon, sir, welcome.” Anders showed her his boarding pass and his membership card, and got ready to walk in, but the woman stopped him.  
  “I’m sorry, sir, this membership card belongs to a Tyrone Johnson, not an Anders Johnson. I can’t let you in, I’m afraid.”  
  
 _Oh, that PRICK._ Anders looked beyond the desk into the lounge, and sure enough, Ty was sitting in the lounge with Mike and Olaf, dressed in a fancy suit.  
  “That’s him there, see? In the suit? That’s my brother. I’m travelling with him.”  
  
The woman looked over her shoulder at Ty, who had noticed the arrival of Anders. The two brothers and their grandfather took one last swig from their drinks and Ty, Olaf, and Mike came to the front desk. They all had serious looks on their faces. Olaf resembled the Terminator, Mike just looked as tight-arsed as he normally did, and Ty looked as though he was trying to pass off as some kind of dorky James Bond. Anders didn’t know what the fuck they were playing at, but he was keen for some answers. Immediately.  
  
“Anders Johnson,” Ty said dramatically, as though he was announcing the results of the X-Factor, “It’s time for a thing.” The woman at the desk didn’t know what the hell was going on, but it was surprising to see Anders have such a violent reaction at the mention of a “thing.” He made a move to bolt, but Mike and Olaf grabbed him before he could do so.  
  
“No! NO! I’m not fucking going!” Mike and Olaf gripped Anders by the shoulders and frog-marched him out of the entrance to the lounge, and back out into the main terminal, Ty following behind, putting a pair of dark shades on his face. Anders was pissed off, and he wasn’t going to hide it. His best bet was to make a scene.  
  
“You can’t do this to me, I have rights! You’ll be hearing from my solicitor about this!” Bystanders observing the scene were worried, but the man dressed in a suit and dark glasses behind the man being walked out of the airport looked official, so they didn’t question it.  
  
Anders was expecting to be manhandled and thrown into Ty’s van to be driven back into the city, but he was thrown when they continued walking out of the terminal, past the car park and out of the airport.  
   “Where the fuck are we going?!” It would ruin the suspense and the gravity of the situation if they told Anders where they were going, so no-one answered. It had been raining quite heavily earlier on in the day, and it looked like it could start up again. This added to Anders’ panic because there was no way in hell that he was going to get mud on his new shoes.  
  
They walked in silence for ten minutes until they reached a gimmicky pirate ship. It finally dawned on Anders what they were doing.  
  “Oh, no, not mini-golf! I hate mini-golf.” Anders hated it because he used to get picked on for being the only person who actually was short enough for the putting club to look legitimate in his hands.  
      “This is a thing for you Anders, so you don’t have a say in what we do.” Olaf’s deep voice was useful for when he needed to sound threatening and authoritative.    
  
  
They were given clubs, and once they had started making the rounds around the gold course, the thing had officially begun.  
  “We’re concerned about your behaviour, Anders. Making moves to fly down to Wellington after some politician? Getting all attached to kittens? What’s going on?” Mike asked.  
  Anders angrily whacked a ball so it went flying across the course.  
  
“DON’T talk to me about the kittens. I’m fine.”  
    “But you’re clearly not, Anders. We saw how upset you were this morning, and then you decide to leave town and bite everybody’s heads off while doing so,” Ty still didn’t forgive Anders for the way he had treated Dawn.  
  
“Yeah, okay, I was a dick to Dawn today, and I’m truly sorry about that. But all that and Wellington had NOTHING to do with the kittens. I got a call from Annabelle today, and I realised we have a big problem on our hands that I had to go and sort out.” Anders wasn’t sure how his brothers were going to respond to this next piece of information, so he paused for a few seconds to collect his thoughts.  
  
“She knows I’m Bragi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lead-up to getting people to a thing seems to be more exciting than the thing itself, which is why I wanted to draw out every single little bit of the plan that Ty had to stop Anders from getting on a plane. (and also, I think we need more dapper suave Ty, because that's good fun!)
> 
> And yeah, Axl and Zeb's quest for kittens might turn out to be more of a battle of persuasion than a trek through the wilderness, but a quest is a quest!
> 
> Next chapter I can guarantee that there will be kittens again. How many is a different story...


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olaf, Mike, Anders and Ty do some deductive reasoning over mini-golf.
> 
> Axl and Bryn meet again. 
> 
> And Zeb lies for kittens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PREVIOUSLY: Annabelle knows that Anders is Bragi!!
> 
> And Axl and Zeb start their quest for kittens.

“…WHAT?!” Mike was dumbfounded at Anders’ news. The ball he had just putted still managed to find its way to the nearest hole.  
“How can you be sure?!” Mike demanded.  
  
“Because, numbnuts, she called me this morning and said ‘I think it would be a very good idea if you were to join me in Wellington this evening, Bragi.’!”  
  
“That does sound like she knows he’s Bragi,” Olaf said helpfully.  Ty and Anders both rolled their eyes at their grandpa.  
  
“Thank you for your insightful comment, Olaf, but I’m more worried about the _how_! Did you tell her what you were when you were drunk?!” Mortals getting involved in their business was the last thing they needed at the moment.  
  
“No! Do you think I’m an idiot?!” Anders knew what Mike’s answer to that question would be, so he cut him off before Mike could respond.  
“ I wouldn’t say anything to her! Especially not to a politician!” Olaf nodded approvingly. He had been arrested several times over past years from protesting against government policies. Olaf’s mindset was embedded with a firm distrust in the establishment.  
  
“Is _she_ a goddess?” Ty spoke up. Olaf, Mike and Anders all turned to him, astonished.   
  
“What? There’s no need to look shocked, I’m perfectly capable of coming up with reasonable explanations on my own.”  
  
“What if she IS a goddess?” Mike asked Olaf with wide eyes.  
  
“That’s what I just said!” Everyone ignored Ty as Olaf gave Anders a serious look.  
  
“Do you know anything about her? Like her background?”  
  
“Of course I do, I spent an entire evening with her. Plus, you could just Google this stuff, I’m pretty sure she has her own website,” Anders pointed out to his technologically inept grandfather.  
  
“We need information, Anders! Where is she from?” Mike was growing impatient. Their game of mini-golf had temporarily been suspended.  
  
“Uhhhhh..born in Wairoa I think? But she moved to Auckland at a young age and was raised by her step-mother. There was something about joining the Navy when she left high school and lots of swimming championships and stuff.”  
  
“When did you learn all this about her?” Ty’s mouth was agape.  
  
“When I spent the entire evening with her! It’s not like we could have sex when I had five kittens in my lap!” Anders’ tone was defensive.  
  
“Damn, that could have confirmed things for us. But Anders, that sounds to me like she’s Ran. Goddess of the sea. She’s from the Hawke’s Bay, after all,” Olaf pointed out. “She’s also said to be cruel and greedy.”  
  
Anders stabbed his club into the ground. “Well, that’s just fantastic. Exactly what you want in a politician.”  
  
“You have to go and see her! And see what she wants!” Ty insisted.  
  
All that effort that his family had put into STOPPING Anders from going to Wellington, and now they were encouraging him to go?! Plus there was the fact that Anders was still SERIOUSLY pissed off at all the sabotage Ty had clearly committed in order to kidnap him. If Anders was going to go along with his brothers’ suggestions to go to Wellington and see what the truth was with Annabelle, there were a few conditions that would have to be met first.  
  
“Okay, if I’m going to do this, there are a few conditions that have to be met. One, you’re going to sort all my shit out that you fucked up this afternoon. Two, if I have to spend an extended period of time out of Auckland, I would at least like to make it useful. Therefore, I want Dawn to accompany me.”  
  
Ty let out an involuntary little whine. “Noooooo…” he said softly. He had missed Dawn terribly when she went away to Dannevirke, and the thought that she might be away for an extended period of time pained him.  
  
“Do you want to come to Wellington as well, Ty?!” Anders was fed up with his brothers. Ty’s face lit up.  
  
“Yes, that could work!” Olaf and Mike also nodded.  
  
“We could all join you and make it a road trip!” Olaf suggested brightly. Back in the day, he used to take his grandsons on road trips to the beach. He had missed spending such quality time with them. This would be an opportunity to relive the good old days.  
  
“Fine! You can all join me. Jeez. Can I go back to work now?” Olaf, Mike and Ty all exchanged glances.  
  
“Okay. Grab him, boys.” Mike and Ty obeyed Olaf, and once again grabbed Anders by the shoulders to walk him back to the car, this time with Olaf trailing behind.  
  
“Oh, come on, is this REALLY necessary?”  
  


* * *

 

As Axl and Zeb walked along the road from the ferry terminal towards the nearest main street of Waiheke Island, Axl was wishing that Waiheke was more desolate and deserted. It would make their quest more exciting. At this rate, all they had to do was look Bryn’s address up in the phonebook and catch a taxi there. That wasn’t very heroic.  
  
“So, what do you want to do first?” asked Zeb. Axl halted in his tracks, scanned the area with a sense of purpose, and exhaled the breath of Odin.  
“Lunch.”

* * *

 

 

“So, I texted Gaia and got her dad’s address,” Zeb said through a mouthful of potato salad. They were sitting in a small park at a picnic table; the weather was clearing up. No massive thunderstorm like Axl had anticipated.  
  
“ _Zeb!_ ” Axl admonished; he was both disappointed at the thought that Zeb was looking for the easy way out on such an epic quest, and annoyed that he didn’t think of the idea first.  
  
“What? We needed to know where to go, and besides, the sooner we get back to the city, the better! We don’t want your brother to do anything drastic while we’re out looking for kittens!” Zeb had a point. As nice as Waiheke was, it troubled Axl a little that they could barely see the comforting sight of the Auckland city skyline from where they were. Plus, Anders was in a bad way. Kittens were required as soon as possible.   
  
“Okay, you’re right. So should we just hail a taxi then?” Axl questioned his best friend and trusty sidekick.  
  
“I think that’s the best plan of action, my lord. Seeing as we don’t have a trusty steed,” Zeb replied. Axl nodded in agreement.  
  
“Then a taxi we shall take!”  
  
It was easier said than done. There were far fewer taxis on Waiheke Island than Central Auckland, it seemed. Axl and Zeb waited tentatively on the curb of the main street for about half an hour before _finally_ an empty taxi pulled up to them. Axl and Zeb high-fived before climbing in.  
  
“Can you take us to this address?” Zeb asked the driver, showing him his phone. The man nodded.  
   “I sure can! You boys new to the island?” Axl and Zeb nodded.  
  
“Well, then! You’re in the right taxi!”What followed was 20 minutes of the taxi driver giving them the entire history of Waiheke Island, as well as some information about his family and ancestors, who had apparently been in some battle on the island in the early 1800s. Axl and Zeb had wanted to discuss battle strategy for when they arrived at Bryn’s house, but they didn’t want to be rude to the driver, so they begrudgingly let him talk for the whole journey.  
  
They were actually relieved when they arrived at Bryn’s house, and the driver was kind and friendly enough to waive their fare. But then they realised the severity of their quest, and Axl started feeling nervous again. What if Bryn said no? Or murdered them or something? Axl was too young to die – plus, there was the fact that if he was murdered, the rest of his family would die too. It would be highly inconvenient.  
  
But when Axl stepped up to the door of Gaia’s family home to knock, he felt nervous for the first time. The last time he saw Bryn, Bryn had threatened to drink his blood or grind his bones or something. He couldn’t remember the details, but he remembered it was rather violent.  
  
Zeb was less perturbed. He was more than content to knock on the door without any sense of impending doom.  
“ZEB!” But it was too late. They heard the sound of footsteps, and then the door opened.  
  
“What do you two want?” Bryn stood at the door, peering up suspiciously at Axl.  
  
“Hi, Bryn! It’s great to see you! Gaia mentioned you have some kittens that need homes and we just wanted to offer to take them off your hands!” Zeb said brightly.  
  
Bryn ignored Zeb; his eyes were fiercely locked on Axl in a vehement hatred that seemed rather disproportionate to any bother Axl had given Bryn in the past. Axl returned the stare, eager to stand his ground against Bryn. He still had no idea why Bryn seemed to positively loathe him – apart from him accidentally getting Bryn arrested, Axl had tried to be as civil and as accommodating as possible.  
  
The tension was eased, however, by a little critter hearing the visitors and popping out to investigate.  
  
“Mrow!” A curious little grey kitten nestled its way past Bryn to tilt its head up at Axl and Zeb.  
  
“Well, hello there!” Zeb bent down and picked up the kitten, who started purring promptly. Bryn’s face softened at the kitten.  
  
“Yes, I no longer have the means to look after these kittens. I was minding them for a friend who had to leave the country suddenly,” Bryn shifted awkwardly on his feet, “but now they need to have proper homes.”  
  
“That’s what we’re here for!” Zeb offered enthusiastically. Bryn looked to Zeb and let out a long and condescending laugh.  
  
“Hahahahaha! I don’t think so.” In a few short seconds, Zeb’s hopes and dreams were crushed. The little kitten in Zeb’s hands sensed Zeb’s anguish, and started crying at Bryn.  
  
Anger swelled in Axl. There was no way that Bryn was going to get away with hurting Zeb’s feelings like that. Plus, there was still something about Bryn that really rubbed him the wrong way. They had travelled all this way to rescue kittens to give to Anders, and Axl didn’t plan on leaving until he had achieved that goal.  
  
“Why not?! What’s wrong with us?” Axl exclaimed. He was growing more and more exasperated at the way people dismissed both himself and Zeb. He was Odin, for Odin’s sake (he chuckled inwardly at his little joke)! It was about time people respected them. Starting with Bryn.  
  
“If you two can’t even take care of yourselves, what makes you think I could trust putting dependent beings into your care?!” Bryn sneered. The little kitten in Zeb’s arms hissed at Bryn.  
  
“They’re not even FOR us! We’re taking them to my brother, who’s been really down lately and kittens would be a really good therapy for him!” Bryn looked a little taken aback at this; and Zeb saw that as an in.  
  
“Yes, Mr Bryn, he’s been on the brink of suicide! His last kitten died and in his last suicide note he stated how much the kitten gave his life meaning. Would you please do Axl’s brother the biggest favour by allowing us to cheer him up with these wonderful beings?” Axl was both impressed and a little concerned at how quickly and convincingly Zeb was able to spin that tale.  
  
Bryn didn’t say anything, but he fixed his gaze on the kitten in Zeb’s arms with a softened expression.  
  
“They’re too young to be separated from each other,” Bryn replied stiffly, but Axl could tell that he was about to give in. Even Bryn didn’t want to drive a man to a (fake) suicide.  
  
“That’s okay, we can take them all!” Axl said excitedly. This was really going to work! Zeb was a genius.  
  
“ _Please_ ,” Zeb whispered, with wide eyes to deliver the final punch. “ _Anders Johnson is counting on you._ ”

* * *

  
  
“Gaia didn’t mention that Bryn was looking after NINE kittens!” Axl hissed to his best friend. The slumbering kittens in the cardboard box sitting in his lap were the reason why he was speaking in such a soft tone. He felt like shouting, though. Especially because it was his own fault.  
  
“Worry not, Axl! We can pass them on to all of your brothers if it doesn’t work out, like three each or something? Or keep one or two of them in the flat for the time-being,” Zeb suggested. Axl wasn’t convinced.  
  
“Anders is going to kill us,” Axl lamented dramatically as he opened up the box to stare at the kittens.    
  
“Well, at least he’s not gonna kill himself, eh, Axl?”

* * *

  
  
Anders rubbed his eyes tiredly as he sank into his desk chair. What a fucking nightmare. Although Ty had clearly thought through most of the steps of his elaborate plan, he had either deliberately or absent-mindedly forgotten the fact that stopping Anders from actually boarding the plane didn’t stop the plane from taking his bag. He had spent four and a half hours arguing with the airline people, and then waiting for the bag to arrive in Wellington to then be sent back to Auckland.  
  
It would have taken a shorter amount of time, but the suspicious activity of buying a ticket last minute and then failing to board the plane ensured that ground staff in BOTH cities wanted to check his bag for bombs and drugs. He had thankfully removed the latter from his bag before leaving his apartment, and he wouldn’t have dreamed of the former.  
  
And he still had work to complete, which is why he sat in his office rather than at home.  
  
But he couldn’t concentrate. His mind was swirling with airports and his brothers and that bitch Annabelle and those damn kittens…God, he needed a drink. Except for the fact that he had finished his vodka earlier that day by putting the last of it in his coffee. Anders inwardly cursed his lack of foresight. He was going to have to go home. Dawn would probably be more help to his tasks, anyway.  
  
The drive home he scarily didn’t remember. Perhaps it was highway hypnosis, maybe he had fallen asleep; whatever it was, Anders was shaking slightly – that drink was more necessary than he had previously thought.  
  
He opened the door to his apartment and couldn’t believe his eyes – was he drunk already? There were no fewer than NINE kittens roaming his house. Nine. None of which he’d ever remembered seeing before. Was THIS that woman’s plan? To frame him for the death of nine cats? She was clearly psycho. He had to go down there at least to make sure she didn’t end up ruling the country some day. Or else people could die.  
  
What on earth was he going to do with nine kittens? Not to mention the other five who were due to return back from the vet in a few days time. Anders had promised himself that he was never going to have children, let alone be the sole guardian of fourteen cats. That would make him worse than Dawn! Ugh. Time for vodka. Anders went into the kitchen and pulled out a glass from his cupboard, and a bottle from the fridge.  
  
“SURPRISE!” Zeb and Axl yelled, jumping up from behind Anders’ couch. Anders nearly dropped his glass onto the kitchen floor.  
  
“What the FUCK are you doing here?!” The last people he wanted to see right now were his baby brother and his sidekick, Boy Whatsit.  
  
“We brought you these kittens to make you feel better!” _Come on, Anders. Appreciate the gift. We’d really like to not have to look after fourteen kittens._ Axl waited nervously for his brother’s response.  
  
“What on earth made you think that putting nine beings in my care would make me feel better about ANYTHING? Do you know how much of a hassle it is to look after one cat, let alone fourteen?!” God, those two were such _idiots._ Whoever entrusted them with the kittens was clearly a giant douchebag.  
  
“That’s what we’re here for! We can help out, and cat-sit all the time!” Zeb offered helpfully. Anders simply pointed at the door, and Zeb took the hint and left sadly. The little grey kitten followed him to the door and started mewing desperately.  
  
“Take your duckling with you,” Anders ordered. Zeb picked up the kitten, gazed around the room sadly, and bowed his head before leaving. The door clicked softly behind him.  
  
Anders stepped over to his brother, and Axl felt threatened for once, despite the distinct height advantage he had over his older brother.  
  
“You – you will right this. If I ask you to do something, you will do it, you hear me? I don’t give a shit that you’re Odin, if I need you, you will drop everything and come running, got it?”  
  
Axl swallowed nervously.  
“Yup. Okay. Sorry.”  
  
“You will get out of my apartment and await further instruction.” This was actually enjoyable for Anders. He didn’t need his Bragi powers to hold a level of control over his brother – that made a nice change!  
  
“But – what about the kittens?” Did Anders want Axl to take them?  
  
“I said. GET. OUT.” Axl wasn’t curious to see what Anders would do when he got _really_ mad, so he hastily made his way for the door and shut it behind him. But when he had reached the street, he had realised that he and Zeb had actually won. Their quest was to get kittens to give to Anders, and they had succeeded!  
  
He became even more grateful at being kicked out when he remembered the mess that had been left by the original five kittens that Anders had been unaware of.  
  
“ _OH, YOU LITTLE SHITS_!”


End file.
